Today we said goodbye to mom as she took the hand of Jesus and went home. It is all still so surreal - it does not seem possible. Just 3 weeks ago she was out driving around, and now she's gone. It's just so hard to get this to compute in my head and heart.
On Monday Terry and I were with mom and felt that she had some sort of episode, we now think that was a small stroke. Her speech was slurred, her mouth appeared crooked. On Tuesday, Mom was very agitated and still not quieted down. The days of this week have blended together. Others came to pray with mom and visit - like Zeb, Kristi & Mike and Alisa on another day. Mom never went without love and care.
We knew what the DR's said, but we just prayed God's will - either heal her or take her home quickly and not suffer. They said 6-8 months, God said it was time to come home. Knowing that mom was in peace is the only reason I can even be sitting here sharing this. I've had some "melt-downs" and I'm sure more will come, but ultimately deep in my heart is the peace that only comes from His Holy Spirit.
The rest of the week is a little bit blurry. We continued to watch mom go thru changes, but we are so very grateful for every moment that we had with her. You just can't get that time back. I have no regrets now, knowing that I had spent every possible moment with her that I could. I am so blessed to have a job that allowed me this time (though I must admit, I would have taken it whether they allowed it or not!)
Death is not pretty - the events and dealings with it all are painful. There is no refuting it. But the memories that are brought to mind, the laughter over fun times, tears through others - THAT is life. Mom had a full life and now it is time to celebrate her. The fact she had a personal relationship with Jesus is the greatest reason of all to celebrate.
Thank you mom for teaching us about the love of Jesus. For choosing to be our mother - hanging in there when you wanted to run from your 5 kids!! It has been a wild, eventful and full life. I hope you're up there doing the jitterbug with dad, sitting at the feet of Jesus and singing His praises. We'll join you one day mom....as the commercial says..."...Keep the lights on for us!" I love you...
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, February 21st - Center of Attention!
WOW!!! What a day! With it being the weekend I had told mom to expect to have company as this is when most people are out and about and off work. Little did I know just how true that statement would be! With 5 children, 16 grandchildren and 27 great-grandchildren (and one on the way), mom's life is full of people that love her and want to see her.
The day started with Brother Wes & Sister Charletta coming by to visit and pray with mom. Justin got there the same time I did and Alisa was right behind us! Shaela was here and excited to see her cousins too! George came up on his Harley and of course Terry & Skip were there.
We surprised mom with Kurt & Tiff and crew coming down (and it was Kurt & Jake's 29th birthday!). Mom got to love on those two new grandbabies!!! And, of course, see how big their other three have gotten. (Yes, I was on cloud 9 with them being here....awesome! AND I had Jake, Breinn and Baron down the weekend before...God is good!)
Curtis came as did Melisa & Mickayla & Jaidyn. There was Tiffeny & Jason with their 3 children, a friend and Cooper (Tammie's youngest) - they were doing "double duty" so that they could celebrate Logan's BD up at a game room in Kerrville.
I stayed until around 9:00 p.m. and then went to dinner w/Kurt, Tiff & the twins. Alisa took Haley, Caleb & Brennan home to her house....they call her "Aunt-a-pizza" - when they were little they couldn't say "Aunt Alisa" - that's what came out and it has stuck! We love it!
It was a pretty good day for mom and the way the house is set up, she was able to sleep when she needed and visit when she wanted. Come Sunday - she was pretty laid back and resting!
The day started with Brother Wes & Sister Charletta coming by to visit and pray with mom. Justin got there the same time I did and Alisa was right behind us! Shaela was here and excited to see her cousins too! George came up on his Harley and of course Terry & Skip were there.
We surprised mom with Kurt & Tiff and crew coming down (and it was Kurt & Jake's 29th birthday!). Mom got to love on those two new grandbabies!!! And, of course, see how big their other three have gotten. (Yes, I was on cloud 9 with them being here....awesome! AND I had Jake, Breinn and Baron down the weekend before...God is good!)
Curtis came as did Melisa & Mickayla & Jaidyn. There was Tiffeny & Jason with their 3 children, a friend and Cooper (Tammie's youngest) - they were doing "double duty" so that they could celebrate Logan's BD up at a game room in Kerrville.
I stayed until around 9:00 p.m. and then went to dinner w/Kurt, Tiff & the twins. Alisa took Haley, Caleb & Brennan home to her house....they call her "Aunt-a-pizza" - when they were little they couldn't say "Aunt Alisa" - that's what came out and it has stuck! We love it!
It was a pretty good day for mom and the way the house is set up, she was able to sleep when she needed and visit when she wanted. Come Sunday - she was pretty laid back and resting!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Another Day
Heading over to mom's again today and don't know what to expect. I was there on Monday & Tuesday and mom wasn't up that much. The changes have been so drastic - we're all trying to understand how it all happens so fast. I cherish each moment. We are all shedding lots of tears and holding on to each other.
This weekend will bring a lot of visitors I am sure. Kurt & Tiff and "crew" have decided to come this weekend. They were coming on the 7th of March, but we felt the sooner the better. I know mom will want to see all the great-grandchildren - especially to hold her newest ones she has yet to see, Josiah & Gabriel. Mom has ALWAYS loved babies! (It's when they start saying "no" she sends them scampering....ha!)
So join us when you can, come visit mom. We appreciate all of the love and support of our family and friends! Add a post & pics and if you have problems doing so, just let me know - I'll try to help, though this is new to me too.
Blessings & Prayers for each of you....me
This weekend will bring a lot of visitors I am sure. Kurt & Tiff and "crew" have decided to come this weekend. They were coming on the 7th of March, but we felt the sooner the better. I know mom will want to see all the great-grandchildren - especially to hold her newest ones she has yet to see, Josiah & Gabriel. Mom has ALWAYS loved babies! (It's when they start saying "no" she sends them scampering....ha!)
So join us when you can, come visit mom. We appreciate all of the love and support of our family and friends! Add a post & pics and if you have problems doing so, just let me know - I'll try to help, though this is new to me too.
Blessings & Prayers for each of you....me
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Yesterday & Today
Went to mom's yesterday around 3:30 p.m. to see Mom and give Terry & Skip some family time in S.A. For the 7 hours I was there mom was only awake for around 1 1/2 hours off and on. The breathing treatments have really helped the horrific cough mom suffered with. She gets those 4 times a day and doesn't turn them away!
Rep, Kristine & the girls came by around 6:00 p.m. While they were there mom decided she was hungry and wanted some fish cooked that she had. I went in the kitchen - but Rep ended up being the chef and he did an AWESOME job! They had a good time visiting w/mom before leaving to get the girls home and ready for school the next day.
Mom & I watched some TV - she likes watching "The Bachelor" - never knew!!! Mom went back to sleep around 9:00 p.m. in her recliner. Terry & Skip returned and I was napping right along with mom!
Today I headed back over to Mom's with the intention of giving her a massage (we're now waiting until next week), and I had already promised to cook a fish & pasta dish for her. She'd had a rough night and was sleeping. Terry & I relaxed and visited. The medicines and lack of movement had left mom's tummy feeling MISERABLE. She FINALLY got some relief before I left today. Mom was up a little more today, but is still so very weak. Hospice came by today - no changes. They did have a company deliver a trapeze for mom's hosital bed so that she can manuever in it...she wanted a way to get some sort of exercise.
If you call mom, be prepared to turn up your volume as loud as you can - mom doesn't talk much louder than a whisper. When she's short-of-breath it's hard to understand her on the phone sometimes.
To go from a vibrant, sassy (and yes - stubborn), on-the-go mom, to this almost overnight has been so hard. I just keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare.
Putting on the praise & worship music brings me back into His peace and reminds me that we were never promised we wouldn't have trials and tribulations, but that He would always be right here with us. His Word is life to my hurting heart.
Rep, Kristine & the girls came by around 6:00 p.m. While they were there mom decided she was hungry and wanted some fish cooked that she had. I went in the kitchen - but Rep ended up being the chef and he did an AWESOME job! They had a good time visiting w/mom before leaving to get the girls home and ready for school the next day.
Mom & I watched some TV - she likes watching "The Bachelor" - never knew!!! Mom went back to sleep around 9:00 p.m. in her recliner. Terry & Skip returned and I was napping right along with mom!
Today I headed back over to Mom's with the intention of giving her a massage (we're now waiting until next week), and I had already promised to cook a fish & pasta dish for her. She'd had a rough night and was sleeping. Terry & I relaxed and visited. The medicines and lack of movement had left mom's tummy feeling MISERABLE. She FINALLY got some relief before I left today. Mom was up a little more today, but is still so very weak. Hospice came by today - no changes. They did have a company deliver a trapeze for mom's hosital bed so that she can manuever in it...she wanted a way to get some sort of exercise.
If you call mom, be prepared to turn up your volume as loud as you can - mom doesn't talk much louder than a whisper. When she's short-of-breath it's hard to understand her on the phone sometimes.
To go from a vibrant, sassy (and yes - stubborn), on-the-go mom, to this almost overnight has been so hard. I just keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare.
Putting on the praise & worship music brings me back into His peace and reminds me that we were never promised we wouldn't have trials and tribulations, but that He would always be right here with us. His Word is life to my hurting heart.
This journey of life
I really don't know where to begin with this, but I wanted to find a place where we could all gather and share our hearts, thoughts, prayers, faith and yes, even fears. I wanted a safe place to write in the midst of pain and joy, fear and faith, where I could be totally honest. Most importantly, I want to share updates about mom and our life with her. I want to hear your stories too!
Come join me on this journey, while it's path is unknown - the ending is clear. Mom will one day join Jesus in heaven and someday I know I will join her there, along with dad :-).
May the Lord bless each of you who take this journey with me. May His grace be sufficient for you and may you in turn, remind me of His love on those days when my heart is aching.
Blessings....
Cindi (Gigi)
Come join me on this journey, while it's path is unknown - the ending is clear. Mom will one day join Jesus in heaven and someday I know I will join her there, along with dad :-).
May the Lord bless each of you who take this journey with me. May His grace be sufficient for you and may you in turn, remind me of His love on those days when my heart is aching.
Blessings....
Cindi (Gigi)
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